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A self-development podcast with philosophical, psychological and literary flair hosted by Victoria Hutchins, the creator of @thedailyvictorian. Giving your soul something to chew on every Sunday.
A self-development podcast with philosophical, psychological and literary flair hosted by Victoria Hutchins, the creator of @thedailyvictorian. Giving your soul something to chew on every Sunday.
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Jemma Sbeg is a prominent podcaster and author known for her work on the Psychology of Your 20s podcast. She has gained recognition for her insights into the psychological aspects of dating and relationships, particularly for young adults navigating their twenties. Jemma is also the author of 'Person in Progress', a book that serves as a roadmap for individuals seeking to understand and thrive during the transitional decade of their twenties. Her work emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and emotional intelligence in personal development.
Jemma Sbeg is a prominent podcaster and author known for her work on the Psychology of Your 20s podcast. She has gained recognition for her insights into the psychological aspects of dating and relationships, particularly for young adults navigating their twenties. Jemma is also the author of 'Person in Progress', a book that serves as a roadmap for individuals seeking to understand and thrive during the transitional decade of their twenties. Her work emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and emotional intelligence in personal development.
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The bad news is you’re always going to care what people think. The good news is it doesn’t have to control your life. In this episode, I walk through 9 ways to rethink your relationship with external validation. If you want to be done letting other people’s opinions steer your every move, this one’s for you.
EPISODE OUTLINE
00:00 Intro
05:28 1. Caring what people think is natural
07:14 2. You can’t control how you feel, but you can control what you do
16:07 3. You should care what some people think
18:16 4. Not caring what people think ≠ not caring about people
19:45 5. Chasing approval always backfires eventually
26:21 6. You don’t know what people think
30:29 7. Other people are not thinking about you as much as it feels like they are
35:32 8. You care more about other people’s opinions when you don’t have your own
37:28 9. It’s okay to want to be with people who make you feel good
The bad news is you’re always going to care what people think. The good news is it doesn’t have to control your life. In this episode, I walk through 9 ways to rethink your relationship with external validation. If you want to be done letting other people’s opinions steer your every move, this one’s for you.
EPISODE OUTLINE
00:00 Intro
05:28 1. Caring what people think is natural
07:14 2. You can’t control how you feel, but you can control what you do
16:07 3. You should care what some people think
18:16 4. Not caring what people think ≠ not caring about people
19:45 5. Chasing approval always backfires eventually
26:21 6. You don’t know what people think
30:29 7. Other people are not thinking about you as much as it feels like they are
35:32 8. You care more about other people’s opinions when you don’t have your own
37:28 9. It’s okay to want to be with people who make you feel good
How to Find Your True Self According to Philosophy
Hosts
Hosts of this podcast episode
Victoria Hutchins
Keywords
Keywords of this podcast episode
self-developmentphilosophypsychologyliteratureauthenticitymasksshadowsattachment theorySocratesSimone de BeauvoirCarl JungSigmund FreudRousseauSartreHeideggerKantNietzscheJealousyself-identity
Is the self something we find—or something we create? We’re constantly told to “be ourselves,” but the world teaches us fast that we also need to be likable, marketable, and hot. No wonder we’re all confused. In this episode, we dive into how different philosophers—from Socrates to Simone de Beauvoir to Carl Jung—understood the search for the true self and how their insights can help us stop performing and start living more honestly. If you’ve ever felt like you’re performing your personality instead of living it, this one’s for you.
EPISODE OUTLINE
00:00 Intro
05:49 Sigmund Freud
09:08 Attachment theory (Bowlby & Ainsworth)
10:55 Carl Jung’s theory on masks and shadows
12:15 The chill girl mask (Gone Girl)
13:34 Shapeshifter (MAKE BELIEVE)
14:38 The masks vs. the Self
15:04 Rousseau’s natural vs. social man
17:15 Using logic to hide from passion
17:55 For the ones who left (MAKE BELIEVE)
19:37 Freud, Jung & Rousseau reflection questions
21:48 Sartre: owning your agency as authenticity
23:08 Sartre’s concept of bad faith
24:12 Simone de Beauvoir on social class
26:41 The upper limit theory (Gay Hendricks)
27:25 But also, the playing field isn’t level
27:48 Sartre & de Beauvoir reflection questions
29:27 Heidegger: inauthenticity due to death denial
31:33 Authenticity vs. ethics and compassion
33:23 Authenticity vs. self-protection
34:01 Kant’s categorical imperative
34:48 Socrates: dying on the hill of authenticity
35:26 Socrates and Kant reflection questions
36:46 Nietzsche on creation of the true self
37:17 Does everyone have a calling?
38:19 Jealousy as a clue to your passions
38:33 The “love it for you, want it for me” folder
39:53 Nothing grows if you don’t water it
40:18 Nietzsche reflection questions
41:50 Lightning round recap
EPISODE LINKS
• Carl Jung, The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (1959) and Modern Man in Search of a Soul (1933)
Is the self something we find—or something we create? We’re constantly told to “be ourselves,” but the world teaches us fast that we also need to be likable, marketable, and hot. No wonder we’re all confused. In this episode, we dive into how different philosophers—from Socrates to Simone de Beauvoir to Carl Jung—understood the search for the true self and how their insights can help us stop performing and start living more honestly. If you’ve ever felt like you’re performing your personality instead of living it, this one’s for you.
EPISODE OUTLINE
00:00 Intro
05:49 Sigmund Freud
09:08 Attachment theory (Bowlby & Ainsworth)
10:55 Carl Jung’s theory on masks and shadows
12:15 The chill girl mask (Gone Girl)
13:34 Shapeshifter (MAKE BELIEVE)
14:38 The masks vs. the Self
15:04 Rousseau’s natural vs. social man
17:15 Using logic to hide from passion
17:55 For the ones who left (MAKE BELIEVE)
19:37 Freud, Jung & Rousseau reflection questions
21:48 Sartre: owning your agency as authenticity
23:08 Sartre’s concept of bad faith
24:12 Simone de Beauvoir on social class
26:41 The upper limit theory (Gay Hendricks)
27:25 But also, the playing field isn’t level
27:48 Sartre & de Beauvoir reflection questions
29:27 Heidegger: inauthenticity due to death denial
31:33 Authenticity vs. ethics and compassion
33:23 Authenticity vs. self-protection
34:01 Kant’s categorical imperative
34:48 Socrates: dying on the hill of authenticity
35:26 Socrates and Kant reflection questions
36:46 Nietzsche on creation of the true self
37:17 Does everyone have a calling?
38:19 Jealousy as a clue to your passions
38:33 The “love it for you, want it for me” folder
39:53 Nothing grows if you don’t water it
40:18 Nietzsche reflection questions
41:50 Lightning round recap
EPISODE LINKS
• Carl Jung, The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (1959) and Modern Man in Search of a Soul (1933)
In a flop era that feels like it will never end? I know that feeling. If you’re in a rut—whether it’s burnout, a creative freeze, or a “what now” spiral after a big life change—I made this episode for you. I share about my own recent rut, what helped me get through it, and a practical 3-step roadmap grounded in neuroscience, psychology, and philosophy. This one’s part pep talk, part game plan, part love letter to anyone feeling stuck.
In a flop era that feels like it will never end? I know that feeling. If you’re in a rut—whether it’s burnout, a creative freeze, or a “what now” spiral after a big life change—I made this episode for you. I share about my own recent rut, what helped me get through it, and a practical 3-step roadmap grounded in neuroscience, psychology, and philosophy. This one’s part pep talk, part game plan, part love letter to anyone feeling stuck.
The Psychological Formula for Attraction ft. Jemma Sbeg
Hosts
Hosts of this podcast episode
Victoria Hutchins
Guests
Guests of this podcast episode
Jemma Sbeg
Keywords
Keywords of this podcast episode
attractionsituationshipsemotional unavailabilitycommitment-readiness scalepsychology of datingPerson in Progresssparkreciprocitydating pitfallsstigma of being single
What actually makes us feel drawn to someone—and what makes us cling to situationships long after we can see the glaring red flags of emotional unavailability?
In today's episode, I’m joined by my first-ever guest (!!) and one of my favorite podcasters of all time, Jemma Sbeg—host of the wildly popular Psychology of Your 20s podcast and the author of Person in Progress. If you’ve ever screamed-cried in your car after someone you weren’t even officially dating ghosted you, this one’s for you.
A few things we dive into:
A research-backed formula for attraction (and how to use it without playing games)
The role of the “spark” in attraction
The psychology behind common dating pitfalls in your 20s
The stigma of being single
The commitment-readiness scale (and why it can land you in situationship after situationship)
Jemma also shares insights from PERSON IN PROGRESS—a roadmap for surviving the chaotic, confusing, deeply transitional decade that is your twenties—and offers advice to her younger self that made me tear up a little. Whether you’re trying to understand your patterns, make sense of someone else's, or just feel a little less alone in the dating trenches, this one will stick with you.
EPISODE OUTLINE
00:00 Intro 02:51 The formula for attraction 04:21 1. Proximity 07:10 2. Similarity 11:43 3. Familiarity 14:03 The 3 month rule 16:55 The curse of comfort 19:31 The sunk cost fallacy 21:06 The fear of starting over 22:37 4. Reciprocity 23:13 The harm of playing games 26:36 5. A spark 27:19 The psychology of common relationship pitfalls 27:31 1. Repetition compulsion 31:04 2. The stigma of being single 36:45 3. Situationships 38:23 The commitment-readiness scale 40:21 Permission slip to grieve your situationship <3 42:09 Lightning round recap 43:26 Last question: what would you tell past you?
PERSON IN PROGRESS
If you liked this episode, you will love PERSON IN PROGRESS. Out now and available everywhere you buy books. Get your copy today!
PS - This is the study I mentioned that found that single women are one of the happiest demographics on Earth. And an article about it here!
What actually makes us feel drawn to someone—and what makes us cling to situationships long after we can see the glaring red flags of emotional unavailability?
In today's episode, I’m joined by my first-ever guest (!!) and one of my favorite podcasters of all time, Jemma Sbeg—host of the wildly popular Psychology of Your 20s podcast and the author of Person in Progress. If you’ve ever screamed-cried in your car after someone you weren’t even officially dating ghosted you, this one’s for you.
A few things we dive into:
A research-backed formula for attraction (and how to use it without playing games)
The role of the “spark” in attraction
The psychology behind common dating pitfalls in your 20s
The stigma of being single
The commitment-readiness scale (and why it can land you in situationship after situationship)
Jemma also shares insights from PERSON IN PROGRESS—a roadmap for surviving the chaotic, confusing, deeply transitional decade that is your twenties—and offers advice to her younger self that made me tear up a little. Whether you’re trying to understand your patterns, make sense of someone else's, or just feel a little less alone in the dating trenches, this one will stick with you.
EPISODE OUTLINE
00:00 Intro 02:51 The formula for attraction 04:21 1. Proximity 07:10 2. Similarity 11:43 3. Familiarity 14:03 The 3 month rule 16:55 The curse of comfort 19:31 The sunk cost fallacy 21:06 The fear of starting over 22:37 4. Reciprocity 23:13 The harm of playing games 26:36 5. A spark 27:19 The psychology of common relationship pitfalls 27:31 1. Repetition compulsion 31:04 2. The stigma of being single 36:45 3. Situationships 38:23 The commitment-readiness scale 40:21 Permission slip to grieve your situationship <3 42:09 Lightning round recap 43:26 Last question: what would you tell past you?
PERSON IN PROGRESS
If you liked this episode, you will love PERSON IN PROGRESS. Out now and available everywhere you buy books. Get your copy today!
PS - This is the study I mentioned that found that single women are one of the happiest demographics on Earth. And an article about it here!
0:0027:16
10 Paradoxes That Will Alter Your Brain Chemistry
Hosts
Hosts of this podcast episode
Victoria Hutchins
Keywords
Keywords of this podcast episode
paradoxesbrain chemistrylikability paradoxparadox of choiceDunning-Kruger Effectparadox of failureparadox of toleranceJean-Paul SartreJames Baldwinparadox of moving onironic process theoryparadox of pleasureAristotleViktor Frankldopamine trapparadox of freedomself-determination theoryKierkegaardparadox of shadow sidesCarl Jungparadox of the comfort zone
What if the things you believe about life, love, success, and happiness are backwards? In today’s episode, we’re diving into 10 paradoxes: the little plot twists, contradictions, and life surprises I wish someone had warned me about. Learning these the hard way cost me a lot of time and heartbreak, and my hope is that sharing them now saves you some of yours. Hit play for a big, juicy reality check.
What if the things you believe about life, love, success, and happiness are backwards? In today’s episode, we’re diving into 10 paradoxes: the little plot twists, contradictions, and life surprises I wish someone had warned me about. Learning these the hard way cost me a lot of time and heartbreak, and my hope is that sharing them now saves you some of yours. Hit play for a big, juicy reality check.
