Savage Lovecast Podcast

When she was in high school, she surprised herself and delighted her boyfriend by squirting all over his face. But the incident alarmed her enough to set off a neurotic need to pee before every sexual encounter. How can she get out of her head about it, and allow for spontaneity in her current, awesome sex life?



A woman is in an in a polyamorous, fantastic, committed relationship full of compersion. Sounds great right? The problem? When they get "activated" he tells her he needs to be with someone who is more intellectually aligned with him. Because you see, he has a Phd in engineering, and she has a mere bachelor in fine arts. When he says things like this, is it just an "avoidant deactivation tactic?"



Let's move on. We are so excited about our guest this week! Nico Carney is a Brooklyn based comedian whose stand-up covers his experiences as a trans man from the South. He and Dan talk about how using humor works so much better than scolding to bring people in to understanding of trans experiences. They talk about genital preferences, and the benefits of interrogating your desires. And, FYI, after coming out in college, Nico still bagged hot chicks. Not a problem. A little is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum.



And, do you have problems? Serious ones? This gal's problem is that her boyfriend loses her lighter sometimes.



[email protected] 206-302-2064





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This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off site wide. Go toHelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go toLiberator.com/Savageor type Savage into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast!



Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, animal lover, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From squirting, to sexting, kissing to kink and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since you were a little, bitty baby.

A married woman in a poly relationship is planning to visit a boyfriend who lives in a different city for a month. But since they made these plans, she started seeing yet another man. Should she tell the guy she plans to visit about the new guy? Should she do it before the trip so he can pull the rip cord if he needs to?



Can you peg your dom? She is a switch, so she knows both sides of the dom/sub dynamic. Her dom wants her to peg him, but she worries she'll slip into dom mode. Dan coaches her on how to stay submissive in her head.



Our guest this week is Jeremy Alder. The former fundamentalist Christian pastor made a U-turn and became a comedian instead. Their loss is our gain- Alder is dryly funny, sweet and bold in the face unkind, hypocritical Christianity. He and Dan talk about the disaster of homeschooling, buying guns for loved ones, and having a slutty phase after leaving the church.



And, a gay man has been getting together with a guy for 10 years in a casual, friends-with-benefits style arrangement. Nobody in his life knows about this relationship. But after 10 years, the guy is suddenly not responding to any of the caller's texts. Is this a cruel, cowardly break-up? Or much worse?



[email protected]. 206-302-2064



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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, psychic cartographer, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From rosebudding, to watersports, hankie codes to harnesses and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity for a long, long time.

A man in Nashville keeps having great dates, but then they reject him afterwards. Is it because he's a liberal Jew?

A woman is in a new, fun, casual relationship, just like she wanted. But he will be moving away in a few months, so there's a clear end date. How can they enjoy themselves knowing the end is nigh?

On the Magnum, put on your pink glasses...it's Randy Rainbow! Rainbow's political, musical theater-based parodies are what the world needs now, more than ever. He and Dan talk about his children's book ("Randy Rainbow and the Marvelously Magical Pink Glasses,") as well as being Randy Rainbow in a world full of haters, the special relationship between gay men and their grandmothers and how to have noisy sex without infuriating your uptight neighbor. This interview basically kicks off gay pride this year, so it's required listening.

And, a woman and her husband are going to try a sex party for the first time. Besides all the conversations around expectations and boundaries, she wants to know: What are the fashion do's and fashion don'ts?



[email protected] 206-302-2064



Subscribe to Magnum⁠ for the full interviews, chats with Dan, and more!



This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Skims Men- find super comfortable, super sexy underwear, socks, t-shirts leggings and more at Skims.com.

This episode is brought to you by OneSkin, the world’s first skin longevity company. Keep your skin looking and acting younger for longer with OneSkin’s topical supplements. Get 15% off at OneSkin.co with code LOVECAST.





Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, trickster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From pegging to polyamory, BDSM to abstinence and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

A man in a queer group chat saw that folks were talking about going to a bathhouse in their city for the first time. The caller explained what goes on there, how consent can be slushy, and trans men might not feel welcome. This shut down the conversation. Was he wrong to tell it like it is?

A divorced woman with a 4 year old daughter is friendly with her ex-husband but not close. Her daughter is asking why mommy and daddy are not married and don't live together. She's never explained divorce to her daughter. How can she phrase it?

On the Magnum version of the show, Dan speaks with Katie Simon, sexuality journalist and the author of the upcoming book Tell Me What You Like: An Honest Discussion of Sex and Intimacy After Sexual Assault. They discuss how survivors take many varied paths to healing including for some, going through a "slut phase."

For anyone going through recovery from sexual trauma, or supporting someone who is, Simon's book is required reading, and this convo is a great place to start.

And a gay, pre-op trans man has a troubling pattern. He can't have anal sex because of health issues, so penetrative sex for him involves his vagina. He gets together with gay men, explains his situation and his biology explicitly. But afterwards, his lovers flip out and reject him because they no longer feel like "gold star" gays. The experience is shredding. How can he find men who will work for him?



[email protected]. 206-302-2064

Subscribe to Magnum for the full interviews, chats with Dan, and more!



This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide plus, a FREE Bedding Bundle- that’s, a Sheet Set, and Mattress Protector- with any Luxe or Elite mattress order. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial plus 25% off an annual subscription when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, news junkie, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From apps to abstinence, unicorns to underpants and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

HA man briefly dated a guy who only bottoms, and collects a variety of giant dildos. The caller worries that his natural size would never satisfy a man like this, and wonders if this is just the standard psychology of power bottoms.



A straight woman tends to be attracted to gay and bisexual men, though she's never dated one. She would be interested in dating a bi man, but she requires monogamy, and worries that precious few bi men would be able to commit to her. Is it reasonable to ask a bi man to forgo wieners to be with her?



For our guest this week, we are thoroughly chuffed to welcome Christine Wenc to the show. Wenc is the author of the new book "Funny Because It's True: How The Onion Created Modern American News Satire." Wenc was a member of The Onion’s original staff. She was also one of the first editors of The Stranger in Seattle where Dan got his start. The two talk about the Onion's history, how it influenced both mainstream journalism and comedy, fake news, and she and Dan reminisce about the old days. She also answers a couple of sex questions, and issues this important PSA: "The clitoris is much more than just a little button."- NOT fake news.



A queer woman presents as masc, and non-binary folks recognize her as one of their own. But she's attracted to dudes. Should she alter her look to turn that male gaze in her direction?



[email protected] 206-302-2064



This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 



This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.



This episode is sponsored by the iRestore Professional, for regrowing hair using light therapy. For a limited time, get a HUGE discount on the iRestore Professional when you use code Savage at iRestore.com



Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, town crier, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From infidelity, to iglooing, gay rights to icy Mikes and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.